I Am Fallen by Scarlet Blackwell

Author:Scarlet Blackwell [Blackwell, Scarlet]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781614957157
Google: oGJ1MAEACAAJ
Publisher: SP Silver Publishing
Published: 2012-05-14T12:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jacob awoke next morning thinking of the silent, unspoken love Lucifer and Raphael had shared and how it had cost Lucifer his place in heaven. He thought of how Raphael had denied Lucifer twice just to keep his place and once more, his scorn for the beautiful archangel burned brightly.

Jacob was a hypocrite. Had he stood up to announce his own love for Lucien or had he buried it until it was smothered forever and Lucien was gone? Raphael had simply behaved in a very human way. That didn't mean his love for Lucifer was any less than shattering and allencompassing. Nor did it mean that love had faded in time.

Lucifer was gone and Jacob's pain ebbed and flowed until finally, just as he tried to get out of bed, it twisted his guts with fire, barbed wire bolts throbbing between his legs and in his throat. He sank back, gasping and this time, he didn't beg God to put him out of his misery, but Lucifer.

* * * * Michael found Raphael lying by the stream. "Well?" He had always treated Raphael with cool disdain since Lucifer had been cast from Heaven. Raphael guessed it was no more than he deserved. He lived every day with the knowledge of how he had denied Lucifer to God, denied the love he felt, the love that permeated and swam through every one of his senses until sometimes he had thought Lucifer was a part of him. At times the pain of Lucifer's loss was more than he could bear. The intervening millennia had barely dulled the agony.

The frightening thing about watching Lucifer dash himself upon the rocks was that Raphael understood why he had been driven to that. Raphael had thought about hurting himself the same way many times. Physical pain may have temporarily blocked out his Lucifer pain.

And he knew Michael saw this pain he carried like a second person on his back. He knew God saw his pain too. And so, God must have known his denials of Lucifer were lies and yet still he let Raphael stay and instead cast out his favourite. Raphael didn't understand how God could have hurt himself so dearly. Why not cast out Raphael? Why not cast out the angel who had neither the fortitude nor the bravery to stand up and be counted?

"I saw him with the mortal. I warned him not to go back. I left him… incapacitated."

Michael's hard expression relaxed into surprised admiration. Raphael hadn't exactly intended Michael to think Raphael had hurt Lucifer himself but it was already too late.

"It's the only language Lucifer understands," Michael suggested.

Raphael lowered his head and felt everlasting shame. He would never hurt Lucifer, but hadn't all he'd done branded the archangel with agony equal to a thousand fists and boots? Lucifer's banishment from Heaven and ruling of the lower kingdom did not negate his capacity for suffering. Not ever. And it was Raphael who had first shown Lucifer what suffering was.

"You did well.

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